If life has taught me anything about relationships, it is that as much as you put into them, you must make sure you are pouring twice as much into yourself. My mother and I often discussed the future and had long conversations about my coming of age. One thing she always preached to my friends and me was to be selfish in your twenties. For the first time, I now understand what that truly means.

At the end of the day, you have to realize that people will always let you down, which is not their fault. It’s only part of the human condition. The biggest lesson is to let go, be still, and focus on what you can control. I don’t know why it has taken me so many years to learn this wholeheartedly. Whatever the circumstance, I often tried to control the narrative.

With love, I would put my faith into hoping a man would save me. I thought that all my problems would go away because someone chose me. But the truth is, a man could never save me because I was meant to save myself.

Instead of waiting for love to find me, I have had the pleasure of seeking out the purest form of love. I learned to let go of my past, forgive myself, and be comfortable in my own skin. Among finding peace in the quiet, I started being very intentional about dating myself. What I wasn’t expecting was to fall madly in love. But this time, it was with me.

The beauty of it all was that I began to see myself in a much different light. I learned to appreciate my life for everything it was: singing at the top of my lungs, writing myself love notes, dancing like no one was watching, letting myself feel, and giggling at all my little quirks.

Some of my favorite adventures included trying a new recipe, thrifting, wandering through bookstores, reading classic literature, dining alone in a crowded restaurant, discovering a passion for hot yoga, finding a church, taking long walks with my dogs, and even attending concerts alone.

I recently traveled to Denver for my first-ever solo vacation to see one of my favorite artists in a very intimate setting. At first, the thought of traveling alone for something like this seemed foolish. However, it was anything but. The hopeless romantic in me was chasing a feeling, but I realized something significant about life: we often chase or run away from this little thing called love.

Oh, but what it is to feel love – the sweetness on your lips with each sip, exchanging soft glances with strangers, hearing your favorite song for the first time, completing a task, learning something new, the unexpected bouts of grief, exploring a new place, being happy for others, connecting with friends, and showing compassion.

My darlings, it was always about love—it was always about finding it within yourself. To anyone reading this, please don’t let your past change how you view love. Learning to love is one of the most beautiful things we experience as humans. Just know that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. There is beauty in it all.

Sweetly,
Samantha