Trembling as I try to spit out words that can epitomize answers. I blame myself, even though I should not beat myself up over the fact that it is over. I wish it could’ve formulated so differently. I had an idea in my head of what I thought I could be. Happy. Yet sometimes the word “happy” is too hard to come by. I try and thank god for making it go away but I constantly find myself wondering the what if’s. Fascinated by the fact that I could have been truly happy, could have. On the contrary, it did not end that way. I was miserable. I lost myself and could not compare this feeling with anything else as I try to put the puzzle pieces together. I conclude, that it wasn’t meant for me; Hard truths are at times our best medicine. Healing is the next step to recovery. Taking every day by what is given, as I try to find the lost soul that was once fulfilled. I wish I was young again, I would interchange many decisions I have made time after time. Asking myself, when will you learn? These mistakes do not define us, but better yet create a sophisticated version of ourselves. They often say it gets better in time although, does it really? Time passes by and yet we are still in the same place we were months ago, it’s a process. The hardest thing I have to admit is that my heart is completely shattered. All I want is to love and make a better version of myself. Looking back, I struggled to realize what the true meaning of happiness is. No one can give you that true happiness. I have grown, in my heart and soul. Nonetheless, I am doing much better than I was. I am strong, beautiful and will never let someone define who I am. So this is my final goodbye, I have no regrets I am glad that I got to experience such a struggle, it has shown me the void I have had in my life for such time now. Praying that toxic people will find such true serenity in themselves to not hurt another soul such. The days fly by and I am certain that a treacherous person may never sleep well at night knowing they almost caused total destruction of one’s pride. In other words, people reap what they sew. In fact, the universe has a funny way of interpreting the negative energy that one has caused upon another. Yet again, this is part of the experiences life has thrown our way, not because we cannot bear to stand the pain but because we were designed to handle such chaos.

What I am saying by this, whatever setbacks you may be dealing with, it goes away. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Days go on, and you will grow from this. My advice is that you channel this inner fear and blossom from it. Remember, you are the best version of yourself, so love who you are.